Conversations with Ethan & Emma

Wednesday night while we were driving to get something to eat, Ian decided to tell our kids that we were going to have another kid.  He asked them what they thought of that and Ethan said "That would be preeeetty cool."

Then Ian went inside to get our dinner (Cafe Rio, um, of course) and Ethan and Emma started asking me all kinds of questions.  Here is how it went down.


Ethan:  Is the baby in your tummy yet? 

Me: No, not yet.  Hopefully soon.

Ethan:  Is it going to get in there today?

Me:  No, probably not today, but hopefully soon. 

Ethan:  When?

Me:  Soon!   I promise I'll tell you when it in there.  But it will be a while, but I promise I'll tell you. And I'm thinking:  please don't ask how it gets in there, I'm so not ready for this.

Ethan: I want it to be a brother.


Emma:  I want it to be a sister.


Me: Well we don't get to choose. Please hear that.  We don't get to choose. It might be a boy, it might be a girl.  We don't get to choose.   And we won't know until it comes out and we can see the baby.


Ethan:  Are you going to go to the doctor to help get it out?

Me:  Probably not.  Miss Laura is going to help get the baby out at our house. 

Emma:  When we go to Grandma Candy's house when its summer, is it going to be ready?

Me:  You mean ready to come out? 

Emma nods.

Me: No, honey it won't be ready in the summer.  And I don't want the baby to come out at Grandma Candy's house.  I want the baby to come out at our house.

Ethan:  Why?

Me: Because I want to be comfortable, I'm not that comfortable at Grandma Candy's house.  Why do you want the baby to come out at Grandma Candy's house?

Emma:  So she can see the baby.

Me:  Oh!  Well she can come to our house. 

There was a pause here, I thought maybe the conversation was over.  Until.....

Ethan:  Are you going to wear clothes when the baby comes out?

Me:  I don't know, I guess I haven't really thought about it.

Another pause.

Ethan:  Are you going to be NAKED?!?!?!   Begin the 5 year old boy giggles here

Me:  Um, well yes, most likely, I suppose. 

Ethan... more giggles and more giggles and never ending giggles. 


Leave it to my son to be completely unfazed by the entire conversation, except the part about me being naked.  Love that kid.

Play Dough

We make playdough pretty regularly with our daycare kids. Its a great math lesson, then fun with 3-D art.  Here is the recipe that I use.

No Cook Play Dough Recipe

2 cups flour
3 tbsp cream of tartar
1/2 cup salt
4 tbsp oil
1/2 cup boiling water
food coloring

Mix dry ingredients together. Mix oil, food coloring and boiling water in a separate container. Stir liquid mixture until cool enough to knead. Knead until smooth. If play-dough is too dry, add more water, a little at a time. If play-dough is too crumbly, knead in a small amount of oil. Store in an airtight container.

Go Fish

Game night at our house.  Fun times.

Such big helpers

Aren't our kids such great helpers?

Or.... why does Emma have a broom?

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving was an interesting day here for me.  We stayed home and we didn't have company.  I did cook Thanksgiving dinner.

Ian and Ethan went shooting, a tradition they began last year.  Emma helped me in the kitchen, which included her putting a hole in our pie when it came out of the over. Such a cutie.

All in all, the dinner was good.  The turkey was a bit under cooked.  Ooops. The pumpkin cheesecake with homemade crust was the star.  I wish I could make another pie.  Oh-so-yummy.

Here are some picture of our kids during dinner.

Our cats even got to enjoy some of the turkey. 

Rosen-Weird Musuem + Ice Cream

For Ethan's School orientation during the summer, K12 held an assembly at the Rosenbrush Wildlife Museum.  Weirdest place ever.

Taxidermy gone bad.

Here's some pics. Because its too weird to look away.

And ice cream after at Jack in the Box.  Because I'm *that* mother.

To the Moon...

I'm going through older pictures, spending a lot of time realizing how much Emma has grown up in the last year.

Then I ran across this picture of Ethan.  It stopped my breath.  I loved this picture.  I still do.  Its likely one of my very favorite pictures of my son. I don't even have words to express how much I love this kid. I suppose I'll take a page from one of our favorite books.  I love you, Ethan.  All the way to the moon. 

And back.

2 a.m. Tuesday

Its 2 a.m. in the morning. I'm sitting here in the office writing this. (In a notebook, that I'm now typing into this post) Trying to make sense of all these feelings. I've been crying for almost 30 minutes. I feel like if I just cry, if I just give myself time to grieve, that I'll be OK.

There are so many emotions running through me right now. First - foremost - crushing sadness. I feel so lost. I'm angry. I'm resentful. I'm regretful. I'm regretful that I'm not *that* mom, that wonderful, beautiful, always cheerful mom. So Ian would be tempted - no not tempted - Ian would look at me with the kids and think - I want to have more kids with that woman. I get so sucked in and start thinking that if he loved me more that he would want more kids, like I do.

I can't accept that he just doesn't want more because he's happy with what we have. I'm happy with what we have - that's the reason i want more. Its got to be because he's UNhappy that he doesn't really want more.

I used to think it was about money. Clearly its not. Its not about money. It doesn't matter if I work my ass off doing daycare 60 hours a week to get us out of debt. Its still going to be a NO. There is absolutely nothing I can do to change this. I have been thinking all along that if I just work, if I get us out of debt that he'll agree to have another baby. No, its painfully clear. That is not going to happen.

I need to move past this. I need to get over this. I need to move on with my life. I can't hold onto having another baby. I have to let it go. I don't want to be resentful for the rest of our lives. I don't want another child more than I want to be married. Ian's right - I *am* the one that changed. I used to want two kids. Why can't I be there now? How do I turn this off?

We are done having kids. My beautiful children are growing up. Its bittersweet. Beautiful, but bittersweet.

Every Time

Ethan steals something from Emma... ripping out of her hands causing her to SCREAM loudly...

He runs away - throws the item somewhere... and says.... "Ha ha ha, you'll never find it now."

Just like Swiper the Fox.



It makes me wanna throw my TV out the window.

Birthdays...

Looks like we are having some sort of birthday party for my kids next month.

My godmother Terry is coming into town on May 31st. With her husband... and so my mom and step-dad are coming too... a.k.a. Grandma Barb and Papa Don.

I'm guessing we'll have burgers and cupcakes.

And you'll wonder how an entire year lapsed without a single change to how I throw a kid's party.

Seriously, you'll forget the year actually past, because it will exactly the same as last year.

Complete with cupcakes the size of your head.

Connect Four

It starts with a game of Connect Four...


You can see, they really get the point of it...


But who am I to judge??? Emma gets a turn.


And then Ethan gets a turn.


Lather. Rinse. Repeat.




Until everyone has won at least once... likely twice...
But really, its just that the board is full


And then - you let 'em rip.


Its the best part. Just note the look on their faces.
Its a pity they are so bored.

Please Don't....

As parents, we have the amazing opportunity to say some crazy things. Things that as a intelligent, logical adult without kids that you would never imagine or expect to say.

Sure, as we are imagining ourselves as parents, we expect to discipline by saying things like:

“Don't hit your sister”

"Or “Be Nice to the Cat”

But, did anyone ever expect to say:

"Don't Lick the TV. Please, please, please, stop licking the TV."

What some things that you've said as a parent that make you chuckle?

I'm Cheap Mama

Homemade No More Tears Detangler Spray

I know. I know. First, I know that this falls under common sense. I get that. But I never thought of this. And I actually had to Google homemade detangling spray.

Directions:
1. Fill Up Old Detangling Spray with water.
2. Squirt a little bit of conditioner (maybe about the same amount that you would use to condition your hair)
3. Shake

My dear husband wanted to know why I didn't just put conditioner in my lovely daughter's hair. Well. Because then I would have to wash it out. And I wouldn't get to post this super cheap common sense tip on my blog.

Big Kids Bed

Our playroom/office/craft room has been feeling a little cramped lately. I got a new desk and I set it up for me about a month ago. Ian got a new desk too, but we haven't had room to set it up yet. Our futon has been in the playroom since the beginning of time, but it was time to find new a home for it.

Yesterday, Ian and I decided to take some action. We moved the futon to the kids bedroom and moved the crib out! Ethan's bed was upgraded to the futon. My guitar hero Ethan is now a very big boy, in a bed large enough for both his parents. :) And my sweet baby girl is sleeping in a toddler bed. My goodness, can someone please SLOW DOWN TIME!

They both slept great last night. The ultimate reward for me? Emma woke up this morning and walked into our bedroom to snuggle. I didn't have to go get her - she came to me. I might be singing a different tune in a couple weeks when she's coming to our bed at all hours of the night. But today, my sweet children are getting bigger and its a smidge bittersweet for me.

p.s. The quilt on Ethan's bed was created by my mom, Barbara. Its a rockin' quilt made from "guitar hero" flannel. Ethan absolutely loves it!

Wordless Wednesday

I can't believe I'm posting this....

Not the greatest quality pictures... and you can sure see how grubby my kids are when we aren't going anywhere... but I though I would share some sticker love.

Snowstorm

We recently had a snow storm here. This picture is what it looked like at night. I think this picture was taken at about 1 a.m. It was very cold. The tree to the right of the picture was bent down touching the ground by morning. Ian cut it down. We've wanted to get rid of it forever anyway, it was just a good time.

Now to pictures of the kids. The first one is Emma, trying to eat the snow, but her hands were too cold. So I got a brillant idea to put socks on our hands. So then, Emma was eating snow off my clean socks. Still eww. In the last picture, I'm trying to show Ethan how to make a snowball. It was fun throwing snow balls with him. But, its always fun until your three year old gets hit with a snowball in the face. Sorry, honey. Welcome to life.

Just a cute pic...

Just a cute pic that I couldn't resist posting. To pretend as if I'm actually posting regularly to my blog.

Recent-ish Pics

Just some of my recent-ish favorites... The umbrella pic, I've already posted here. The one below that one, Ethan with the guitar was taken at his 3rd birthday party in June. The bottom right two pictures were taken by Grandpa Mike at the San Diego Zoo. Lastly, the picture of Emma on her big wheel was just a bit ago. She is getting so grown up.

Conversation with Ethan

Yesterday on the way to playgroup, I had this conversation with Ethan.

Ethan: I have a bicycle. (bicycle is a new vocabulary word for him)

Me: Yes, you do have a bicycle.

Ethan: Daddy has a bicycle.

Me: Yep, daddy has a bicycle.

Ethan: Emma has a big wheel.

Me: Is Emma's big wheel a bicycle or a tricycle?

Ethan: (Pause) Emma has a tricycle big wheel.

Me: That's right. Emma's big wheel is a tricycle. (Pause) What does mommy have?

Ethan: (Pausing, clearly stumped... thinking for a minute, then he finally has an answer.)

Ethan: Mommy has a sewing machine.

Apparently, according to the logic of a three-year-old... I don't need a bike, because I have a sewing machine. I'm rather tempted to agree.