Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Teen Escort

It was a hot night in August when Teen Escort arrived at my house.  3 a.m.... or some other ungodly hour.  When those that are awake, are generally up to no good.

I was awake.  I was waiting for my friend to steal her parents car and come get me.  When the escort's car drove down the street, I shut my bedroom light off and looked outside.  I didn't see a car driving.  Hmm... oh well.  What I didn't know at the time? They already knew where I lived, they saw the light on, then go off and they parked on the street.

I gave up.  My friend clearly wasn't coming.  I got into bed.  Fifteen minutes later my Mom knocks on my door and tells me to get out of bed. Two men and a woman walk into my room.  I don't know why... to supervise?  I'm not sure. I get up, put on my pants.  The woman tells me that I'm going with her. I start to follow her downstairs. My mom and step-dad are at the bottom of the stairs waiting with the two men.  Did I mention they were huge?

The woman tells me to say good-bye. I start crying.  These people are taking me to foster care.  I knew I had pushed my mom away, I assumed she's had enough. I don't even  remember saying good-bye.  I don't remember giving her a hug.  Did I?  Did I scowl at her?  I don't know.

I accept my consequences. I get into the car. We start driving.  The woman and one of the men are in the back seat with me.  They ask where I think I'm going.  I'm going to foster care, right?  But "I don't know" is what I say.   The woman explained that I was being escorted to a facility in Utah.  At this facility I would be able to do loads of super fun things once I earned the privilege.  Sounds OK.

I started to relax, probably slept a little.  I think we flew from Denver to Las Vegas and drove up to St. George.  I have no real memory of this.

On August 7, 2006 I was admitted into Brightway Adolescent Hospital.  I was drug tested, pregnancy tested.  I was tested for STD's.  I was given several psychological tests, seen by two or three different psychologists and a psychiatrist. I was deloused. I think I must have gained 10 pounds. By the end of my short month long stay, several pairs of my pants did not fit.

Finally, September 2, 1996 I was driven to LaVerkin, UT (in the middle of the night, again!).  The next morning, I joined BR group; a group of sixteen or so girls.  We did everything together, went to school, ate meals, PE, and group therapy.  I didn't have one on one therapy... that wasn't part of my program for some time.

So. There is part of my story.  The beginning.  How my journey started inside Cross Creek. I mean, I guess I could say that it really started when I started my self-destructive past.  I might go back and journal about that, but I'm just trying to get these memories out "on paper"... perhaps out of my head.  I don't know.  I'm working on a much longer entry that I'm trying to deal with some self limiting beliefs. This is just the beginning.

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