It was a hot night in August when Teen Escort arrived at my house. 3 a.m.... or some other ungodly hour. When those that are awake, are generally up to no good.
I was awake. I was waiting for my friend to steal her parents car and come get me. When the escort's car drove down the street, I shut my bedroom light off and looked outside. I didn't see a car driving. Hmm... oh well. What I didn't know at the time? They already knew where I lived, they saw the light on, then go off and they parked on the street.
I gave up. My friend clearly wasn't coming. I got into bed. Fifteen minutes later my Mom knocks on my door and tells me to get out of bed. Two men and a woman walk into my room. I don't know why... to supervise? I'm not sure. I get up, put on my pants. The woman tells me that I'm going with her. I start to follow her downstairs. My mom and step-dad are at the bottom of the stairs waiting with the two men. Did I mention they were huge?
The woman tells me to say good-bye. I start crying. These people are taking me to foster care. I knew I had pushed my mom away, I assumed she's had enough. I don't even remember saying good-bye. I don't remember giving her a hug. Did I? Did I scowl at her? I don't know.
I accept my consequences. I get into the car. We start driving. The woman and one of the men are in the back seat with me. They ask where I think I'm going. I'm going to foster care, right? But "I don't know" is what I say. The woman explained that I was being escorted to a facility in Utah. At this facility I would be able to do loads of super fun things once I earned the privilege. Sounds OK.
I started to relax, probably slept a little. I think we flew from Denver to Las Vegas and drove up to St. George. I have no real memory of this.
On August 7, 2006 I was admitted into Brightway Adolescent Hospital. I was drug tested, pregnancy tested. I was tested for STD's. I was given several psychological tests, seen by two or three different psychologists and a psychiatrist. I was deloused. I think I must have gained 10 pounds. By the end of my short month long stay, several pairs of my pants did not fit.
Finally, September 2, 1996 I was driven to LaVerkin, UT (in the middle of the night, again!). The next morning, I joined BR group; a group of sixteen or so girls. We did everything together, went to school, ate meals, PE, and group therapy. I didn't have one on one therapy... that wasn't part of my program for some time.
So. There is part of my story. The beginning. How my journey started inside Cross Creek. I mean, I guess I could say that it really started when I started my self-destructive past. I might go back and journal about that, but I'm just trying to get these memories out "on paper"... perhaps out of my head. I don't know. I'm working on a much longer entry that I'm trying to deal with some self limiting beliefs. This is just the beginning.