I've made a decision to start therapy. Mostly to deal with the feelings I have about Ian, our family size, the pregnancy/miscarriage. All of that.
I feel angry, resentful and sad. I have so many emotions and I'm feeling them all at the same time. Most of the time, I just feel really screwed up. Insane.
Its not pretty. I don't want to talk about it with friends or family. I don't want to be such a negative downer. I don't want to be depressing. I want to be fun and positive and grateful for what I have.
But in truth, I'm really not feeling that way right now.