“The mind can assert anything an pretend it has proved it. “ ~ DH Lawrence
I pulled out my seminar binder this afternoon. In the past, this hasn't always been a great choice. I tend to sponge up all the negative emotion that I released through the course of my seminars. Typically not a healthy endeavor.
But today, I set out to read through the information about self limiting beliefs. A refresher, if you will. The common denominator to low self esteem. Am I a person with low self esteem? Well, generally I would say no. But I have to look at my results. I don't treat myself with very much respect. I feed my body way too much sugar, I don't get enough exercise, I don't get enough sleep. I put practically everyone else's needs before my own. I'm very quick to say yes... and that gets to be a problem occasionally. I live in a stressed out, chaotic sort of place most of the time.
I realize that some of this is hazards of my job.... I can't expect my environment to be peaceful and calm all day long. That doesn't mean however that I have let myself sink into a the chaotic craziness of 8+ children. I'm here to be their guide, not they mine.
In reading from my seminar homework from my Discovery seminar in September 1996, I'm noticing very interesting things.
What's interesting about reading this ancient journal entry/homework assignment from Discovery is how these beliefs are prevalent in my life RIGHT NOW. 14 years later, I'm still dealing with my self-limiting belief about being lazy and fat, about being trustworthy, about not being lovable. I don't think I would actually say that I'm not lovable, but I would say that the belief that comes up for me there is that I'm not good enough... or I'm less important that "you". But the wording and the language doesn't matter as much as the emotion and the energy behind it.
At first this journal entry was getting way too long... so I decided to break it up quite a bit. I found some really great journaling prompts about self-limiting beliefs online. I'm going to take each belief that comes up currently and journal about it separately. Otherwise, this will turn into a book.