Albert Einstein said that “No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.”
In the preface of The Anatomy of Peace the authors note that “...our problems, as theirs, are not what they seem. This is at once our challenge and our opportunity.” As I read this book, I applied the lessons to a current conflict in my life: I want to have more children and my husband does not.
First the Ways of Being Diagram:
This concept was introduced to me first during the Choice Seminar that Tim Eicher presented to my Family Relationships class. From my past experience with Cross Creek, I'm familiar with the importance of your “way of being”. Although the concept of your “way of being” delineated into two categories was very new. At this point in the book and in the seminar, I was simply intrigued by a concept that I hadn't heard before. Quite frankly, its not everyday that I'm exposed to new information regarding emotional growth.
“If we have deep problems, it's because we are failing at the deepest part of the solution. And when we fail at this deepest level, we invite our own failure.” I can see how I have failed at the deepest level inside this conflict with my husband. I can see how I have invited his heart to be at war. I can see how I have created my heart being at war.
As I started to see this about myself I kept reading and the next concept in the book was that we create collusion not conflict. At first, I didn't understand the point of using the word collusion. I looked it up for further explanation. Merriam-Webster defines collusion “as secret agreement or cooperation especially for an illegal or deceitful purpose.” In the context of these concepts, I don't have conflict with my husband, I have a secret cooperation for a deceitful purpose: to create hearts at war.
**This is really one long post split into 4, so To Be Continued**